Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Friend to Everyone, Lover of No-one!

Friend to Everyone, Lover of No-one

The theme of my life.

Making friends is like breathing. It comes naturally. I meet a nice guy and we’re friends for life. I enjoy friendship so much. I love having a large circle of great friends, brothers, and acquaintances. I go on lots of first dates and end up being “friends.” Good thing right? Yes, in a way. I am very blessed that way. The weird thing is. . . none of my dates result in romance. I end up being everyone’s friend OR they end up dating my friends instead or they become members of my social group “the escape.” Romance just isn’t ever a result with the guys I date.

So here’s how conversations usually go during a date or a casual meeting over coffee or jamba juice etc. When I date a nice guy, they find out that I’m a therapist, a counselor, a composer, violinist, writer, and volunteer etc. Then the compliments start flowing, but they aren’t the typical kind of compliments. They almost always are along these lines. “Wow, you’re so deep.” “Dang Jer- you’re so well-rounded.” “You’re such a good friend.” “You have such a calming spirit.” “I feel completely at ease with you.” “I feel like I can be completely honest with you.” And here’s my favorite. . .”Jer, you have an OLD spirit.”

And then when I hear from them next, I get “you have really nice friends. Can I hang out with you guys?” or “I want to join your group. How do I do that?”


I would LOVE to be loved. I would like, for once, a date to actually be interested in ME as a person and not as a therapist, group leader or a friend. I would like for a date to be interested in ME and not in my friends.

Seriously people. . . . what is it about me that says I’m friend-material and not LOVER material?

Input wanted.

I have a hypothesis that I might be dating the wrong kind of people.


BigRedHammer said...

We can't help we're such good people!

But seriously, that is a problem. There are three parts to the problem: You, the people you date, and your friends. A change in any one of those groups could create the stimulus you need.

As one of your friends, I really like to meet the guys you date. I like to get to know them. And me being me, I want to invite them to every activity. You date good people, people I can be friends with. The last parts are a problem on my half.

Hmm, I'll have to think on this.

ammon said...

Sorry its taken me so long to get back into the blogging world.

I've never met you in person. All I know about you is what I've learned from chatting with you online. I've never been to your group meetings, met any of your friends, or heard you play music.

However, I like you, and as such, I'd really like to someday have the opportunity to do all of those things. Does that mean I'm missing you for who you are through all your abilities, activities, and friends? Or does it just mean you are part of something bigger than yourself?