Friend to Everyone, Lover of No-one
The theme of my life.
Making friends is like breathing. It comes naturally. I meet a nice guy and we’re friends for life. I enjoy friendship so much. I love having a large circle of great friends, brothers, and acquaintances. I go on lots of first dates and end up being “friends.” Good thing right? Yes, in a way. I am very blessed that way. The weird thing is. . . none of my dates result in romance. I end up being everyone’s friend OR they end up dating my friends instead or they become members of my social group “the escape.” Romance just isn’t ever a result with the guys I date.
So here’s how conversations usually go during a date or a casual meeting over coffee or jamba juice etc. When I date a nice guy, they find out that I’m a therapist, a counselor, a composer, violinist, writer, and volunteer etc. Then the compliments start flowing, but they aren’t the typical kind of compliments. They almost always are along these lines. “Wow, you’re so deep.” “Dang Jer- you’re so well-rounded.” “You’re such a good friend.” “You have such a calming spirit.” “I feel completely at ease with you.” “I feel like I can be completely honest with you.” And here’s my favorite. . .”Jer, you have an OLD spirit.”
And then when I hear from them next, I get “you have really nice friends. Can I hang out with you guys?” or “I want to join your group. How do I do that?”
I would LOVE to be loved. I would like, for once, a date to actually be interested in ME as a person and not as a therapist, group leader or a friend. I would like for a date to be interested in ME and not in my friends.
Seriously people. . . . what is it about me that says I’m friend-material and not LOVER material?
I have a hypothesis that I might be dating the wrong kind of people.